Seeds and Weeds

Chapter 1: Pride and Prejudice

All works Copyright © Joseph F Johnson

Seeds And Weeds is a philosophically expressive compilation of poetry and prose, creatively expressed in rhyme and reason. The poems within are more than simply a collection of verse with splashes of imagery. Seeds And Weeds challenges the mind and heart to find a better way through observations and feelings on the rise and fall of character. 

Written in the moment, the poetry here is sometimes harsh, but always honest. Digging deeply into the essence of poetic creation, they have not been conjured from the casual observations on life that some would accept as poetic inspiration. These works are the raw emotions, articulated in words that have been inspired by a lifetime of experiences. Offering progressive views on equality, justice, politics, peace, war, environment, nature, fate, faith, family, friendship, introspection, and poetic inspiration, this book explores the struggle between human instinct, intellect and compassion.

__________________________________________________

Pride & Prejudice

Chapter 1 excerpts *

(prose and poems Segregation* and Separation*)

(poem 3 Seeds* can be read on the main index page)

__________________________________________________

 Prose

            Since the age of five, I wondered why people hate. In April of 1968 I heard a man had been killed because he was black and believed everyone was equal. I’d never heard of Martin Luther King Jr. before that day, at least not that I was aware of, but suddenly everyone was talking about him. I did not know many black people, but the one family I did know seemed no different from anyone else to me. Though I do recall when I first met them, just one year earlier when I was four, having a perplexed first impression.

            While riding past their house on my tricycle, I saw a girl about two or three years older than me on the front porch. I stopped to look at her and asked her what was wrong with her. She didn’t seem to know what I meant and asked me what I was talking about. I asked her if she had been burned in a fire and she told me she hadn't, so I asked her why her skin was black. She told me that was just the way she was born and that was how her whole family looked.

At four years old and growing up in a small town with very few black families, I wasn’t sure what to think, but in many ways that was a good thing.

            No one had yet infected my mind with prejudice, so my sense of curiosity took over and I decided to get to know this girl. Later I met her parents, found them to be nice people, though not particularly sociable, and got to know her pretty well. So when I heard that Martin Luther King had been killed because he was black and many white people hated blacks, I did not understand why. I wondered what I couldn’t see. Was there some mysterious evil lurking beneath the skin of my friend?

            In all of the years since, I have watched people’s behavior, listened to the public and private comments of white people who carried this hate within them and drew many conclusions. Those conclusions have lead me to form a philosophy on hatred that has evolved into what I refer to as “Three Seeds”. I have wanted to get to the heart of the matter and find a way to weed out these seeds so that they could never take root. But what to do about those who have already allowed the seeds to grow and who nourish them with their fear, their greed and their pride.

            How can people who already hate, be taught to let go of their prejudice? If only it were as easy as pointing it out to them and explaining what generated these feelings, but it isn’t so simple. You can point out every dandelion in the yard, but some people think they look nice. You can pull out every last one, but if you don’t get the root, they grow back and spread to the neighbors yard and their neighbors yard until they are everywhere. No one can weed every garden and lawn. But if we work together as one, with one great lawn, there will be no other side to appear greener.

            Throughout my youth I realized all sorts of hatred existed right there in my little neighborhood. I noticed how my white friends didn’t really want to hang around with my black friend and it bothered me very much. But I found it went beyond color, as I had many white friends who would not play together. It wasn’t a religious thing, since most of them were Catholics and we all went to the same church. It wasn’t long before I realized that my friends, who lived in the rich neighborhood, only two blocks in one direction from my house, really didn’t like the kids who lived in the poor neighborhood, only one block away in the other direction.

            Keep in mind this is a small town and a block is only about a hundred yards long, maybe two hundred in the rich neighborhood. So it’s not like we are talking about people on opposite sides of town. And there I was, in the middle, in a nice house, though not big, on a nice street where both wealthy kids and poor kids didn’t feel too far out of place, at least so long as kids from the opposite end of the financial spectrum didn’t happen to be hanging out together.

            There were rebels of course, as there are in all societies. But for the most part, I could see the division very clearly and often tried to get them to play together in football and baseball games and a nighttime hind-and-go-seek game we called “chase”. I was not always successful and the teams always wound up divided into neighborhoods. There would be arguments on every play and it usually wound up breaking down before the game was over. So most of the games ended up as financially segregated events with smaller teams but more fun. If I had been able to see more clearly what I can see now, I would have made greater efforts to mix things up more often and pick players from the opposite ends of the neighborhood for my team.

            But I knew that if kids wound up on a team they didn’t want to be on, they would threaten to quit and go home, and at that age I more worried about having fun playing ball than worrying about who was from which neighborhood. And since I was usually the one making all the phone calls to get everyone together, I often wound up as Captain of one team. I knew who the best players were and I knew who would get along, so I picked my players to get the happy medium. I don’t remember who won more and who lost more, but having fun was the ultimate goal and more often than not, it was fun.

            I still didn’t understand why this atmosphere of hatred existed between my friends. Why was I accepted in both neighborhoods without a second thought? Was it simply because I was in the middle, in more ways than one, or was it something else? Did I project a feeling of equality to everyone that made them comfortable to be around? Or maybe it was some combination of factors, that made it possible for me to have friends of all kinds, to make friends with pretty much everyone I met?

            What I find most difficult to understand is, if I have this ability, if I can be friends in all of these circles, isn’t it possible for everyone to do the same? Am I some special human that has a gift others do not, some vision that allows me to see the intangible? I hope not. I want to believe that everyone has it, that there is something that turns others away from it. Maybe it is something we are taught, maybe it is something genetic, but why do people hate?

            It is so ingrained in our history, not just American history, but all of human existence, that it must be some left over cave-mannish behavior that allowed us to endure when Neanderthals were becoming extinct. Humans are as savage as any animal species on Earth when their survival is at stake. But what I find so hard to understand is why we still behave like savages when no such circumstance is at hand. Are we that afraid, or just that greedy? Perhaps we love ourselves so much that it’s just easier to take from those who are not prepared to protect themselves from our aggression.

            Meanwhile, we can still hate, so long as we live to fight another day (he said sarcastically). And God bless America, we will need all the blessings we can get for the atrocities of our own government. Not just in other countries, but right here in America, where the soil is soaked in the blood of the native people and the African slaves. Was it necessary for Africans to be stolen from their land for this one to gain freedom? I don’t see much difference in our history with the Native American Indians. Did they need to be slaughtered and have their land stolen from them for us to have a new place to live? The only reason they weren’t made slaves is because they were considered too savage to tame.

            Feeling that discrimination is justified will never bring an end to hate, conversely it will fill people with more revulsion. No matter the reason for hatred or who is being suppressed, it makes people have an aversion to being near people of the “other kind”, whatever that other kind happens to be. Women, African Americans, Native Americans, the poor, people with disabilities, religions, homosexuals, short people, fat people, homeless people and whoever else might happen to be different in some way that they can be separated from the ones who have the upper hand in a petty system that has afforded them power over others, are victims of bigotry. Even if our survival didn’t depend on it, we must be free of it.

            It may be that we are born with some instinct to hate or a desire for power over others, and at some point we learn who to turn that instinct against. I think fear is the first instinct, the survival instinct. Fear makes us run from predators and perhaps the reason we are here at all is because we find it so hard to let it go. If fear is instinct, greed is learned and pride is taught, but all three lead to the same result. Hatred is the enemy.

            Until we can let go of our fear, our pride and our want for more, we will never be equal to those we believe are lesser than ourselves. The mountain of equality is a high one to climb, but there is a plateau at the top big enough for everyone. It’s just so hard to teach the high and mighty how to climb when they think they are already at the top. If they took the time to stop looking down on others, they could see that they are at the top of nothing but their feet.

__________________________________________________

Pride Is One Seed

One seed is masked in infancy
With its intoxicating allure
Its sexy remedy
Impersonating ones esteem
Inseminating the mind with arrogance
An artificial substitute for confidence
Yet this sweetener is no equal
Stroking the ego
Through external heights that excite
Leading to a bitterness deep within
Fueling a growing resentment
For all that is physically different
Forgetting that at the core we are One
We are the same
Letting go of who you are not
Is the key to setting us all free
As part of you is a part of me and we
And in One we are all together
Our commonality is the seed of our equality
You are my equal and I am sorry
While the shame I carry for four hundred years of hate
Cannot be let go of by one alone
It must instead be released by One together

Created On: 04/04/1997

Does God consider the world we live in when judging us?

            I feel sure Martin Luther King Jr. would not have changed a day in his life, even if he knew he was going to die that April night in 1968. Some say he did, as he seemed to be foretelling it in the speech he gave the night before. The next day, when I saw on the news that MLK was assassinated, it was the first time in my life that I learned people would kill others out of hate. Even though I was only five years old, I remember wondering why. It started me on a lifetime quest to understand hatred. It's how I came to write the poem 3 Seeds and why I am writing this book.

            The recent passing of Martin’s wife Coretta has reunited these two inspirational souls to watch their dream unfold from above. That she carried his dream on her shoulders all these years since Martin was taken from her is an example to all of us all that we should not have idle minds or quiet voices no matter what those who plant hatred conspire to do. King's death made me aware of something I might never have given a second thought or worse, become part of, the institution of racism.

            I am doing something. I am not sitting silently by. I am trying to make a difference that I hope is for the better. It feels right, it drives me in the only direction worth going in, ahead. I don't know if I will succeed or if anyone will listen, but I am doing what I feel I must do. I don't know why, but something inside pushes me to search and expose prejudice. I have been told it’s not my struggle, that I should let those who are affected by it do the fighting. But it does affect me, it affects me deeply. Everyone is affected by hatred and everyone should be talking about it.

            I might have turned out as hate filled or complacent as others I have met along the path of life. I could have used excuses to hate, or to do nothing, then blame it on the place I lived in or the people who influenced me. Then after dying, show up at the Pearly Gates and say, "Well, I just did what everyone else was doing. Look at how hard it is to live in this town, in this world. I think I should get into Heaven because I was looking out for myself, I never harmed anyone." Is that enough, to live in isolation and never harm anyone? How much harm does doing nothing bring? How much, indeed!

            We have got to work together to heal the wounds of the past and end separation and segregation. We can only lose our fear of the unknown through exposure to our differences. Having lived with people of different religions, colors and sexes, I know that we can learn from each other and do more than just get along. I wonder if the reason some people can’t swallow their pride is because they can’t stomach who they have become. If you are a hater, I don’t hate you, I hate your attitude!

            The hatred of individuals for one another or for groups is made even worse when those who live with it inside them promote it and encourage others to join them in their crusade against equality. It is done in so many ways for so many reasons, but it is the same no matter if it is aimed at races, religions or any other thing that one group can twist and blame their rivals for whatever calamity has befallen them. In recent years world events have shown just this sort of disrespectful warping of religion in the name of free speech.

            The cartoon of Muhammad wearing a turban in the shape of a missile is at the very least a disrespectful stereotype. The idea of Islamic terrorists could very easily have been portrayed more accurately and less offensively by simply exposing the face of the one man who represents terrorism, hiding behind a mask of Muhammad instead of using the image of a peaceful prophet whose message has been distorted by those who use religion as a rallying cry for murder. To those who are of the Muslim faith, these tasteless seeds of hate are the ultimate in deliberate insolence.

            While I respect and support the freedom of speech to the fullest extent, I view this kind of cartoon as hate speak and feel it has no place in a publication of journalism. I do not want to be viewed as a war monger because my countries majority leaders happen to be Hell-bent on waging war wherever it decides the evil dictators are not strong enough militarily to put up a fight. I wonder why we haven’t attacked China or why we didn’t attack the Soviet Union, what with the histories these governments have of atrocities against its own people.

            Perhaps it is because we are not very likely to win and there are no oily spoils to claim. The message we send to the world with such contradictory policies is that you’re on your own unless we have something to gain and have a good shot at winning the war.

Seeds & Weeds - (prose)

The budding seed of prejudice winds and twists through the shadows of the brain, but unlike nature's trees, it requires darkness to sprout.
The emerging weed becomes a ruthless root stalking the heart.
Weeds become harder to kill as they gain a firm grip on our hearts,  stubborn and painful to remove.
Pulling them out fails to remove the roots and merely makes the lawn look nice for a little while.
People are forgetful of the small lessons in life;
To get the weed completely out so that it does not grow back, one must dig farther down to stop it from resurfacing.
Humanity must be educated on why hatred is wrong, where it comes from and how to look inward to spot the roots growing inside.
Once you can see that far down, purge them with the strongest weed killer of all, love.
With great conviction, internal honesty is imperative. There is no room for denial, no tolerance for falsely rationalizing what kinds of prejudice we will leave the roots for un-plucked. Because it is like a viral infection it also can transform into other shadows of hate.
You might say, "OK, I won't hate other races or religions, but damn those gays” and in the end you will not have done anything but fool yourself into believing you're a better person when you are not.
Don't close the curtains at the bottom of your heart and hope that no one notices. Others may only be able to see the surface of your person, but you have the ability to look underneath.
Open your heart completely, let the light shine on the seeds that desire darkness, shadow seeds like people who open umbrellas and rub on sunscreen in order to sit outside on a sunny day and not get burned. Allow your heart to become submerged in truth and that light will burn away the source of their growth.
The instinct is ever-present, always seeking nourishment. It's hard to keep hatred from taking root, but if made aware of it when you feel it teasing your mind and know its motivation, it can be cut off before the lurking in the shadows becomes a highway to the heart.

Created On: 06/21/2003

            From “The Drum Major Instinct”, Martin Luther King’s last sermon, delivered at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Ga, 2/4/1968, two months before he was assassinated. This excerpt is not in Seeds and Weeds. See bottom of page for ways to purchase this sermon in its entirety in both book and audio formats.

pg. 18-19

( Posted on the main page @ www.seeds-and-weeds.com )

Created On: 05/12/2003

Unnatural selection or Gay by divine design?

            At what point is a person’s sexuality determined? If a man or woman never has sex, each dies a virgin. But if a virgin dies in love with someone of the same sex, is that person considered homosexual in the eyes of God? If a virgin dies while in love with someone of the opposite sex, is that person a heterosexual in God’s judgment? Does the physical act of sex dictate if an individual is heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual? All three spring from the emotions people feel in their heart. If it were just a sexual thing, they could do it with anyone and be happy. Love and sex are not the same thing. Perhaps we should study homo-emotional, hetero-emotional and bi-emotional areas of the brain instead.

            How do you know one celibate from another? You don’t. If it is the case that a sin is committed at the moment it is thought, then celibacy counts for nothing. It would seem that God designed people who have no choice other than to fall in love with people of the same sex, only to be punished for it. If people are made to pay for sins while still alive, what’s the point of forgiveness? Why did Jesus die for us if God is going to circumvent the Passion and make us suffer anyway? If any are judged one moment before death, they have not been afforded the opportunity to repent for their sins and, consequently, the covenant is broken by God.

            Some suggest that AIDES is God’s way of making homosexuals pay for their sins. If this were the case, God would not allow the innocent to contract HIV. Hemophiliacs would not get AIDS, nor heterosexuals or their newborn children if God designed the HIV virus. AIDES does not bend to God’s will and apparently, neither does hatred. AIDS appears to afflict gay men more frequently than others simply because men in general, gay or straight, are more promiscuous than women. Do the math, fall in love, AIDS will die.

When two hearts sing of their love
They rise higher with a singular voice
While clearly I see through hetero-eyes
that love has never given me a choice

So glad I was to read the Supreme Court
finally put prejudice in its place
Because falling in love has nothing to do
with breaking the law or falling from grace

And as for me, it's never been about
Sticking my dick in his or her body part
It's about whether the love I want to give
Comes from my head or from my heart

Created On: 07/04/2003

Hatred is immortal, people are not  

            21-year old Matthew Shepard, was murdered in an anti-gay hate crime in Laramie, Wyoming in October of 1998. Lured from a campus bar shortly after midnight on October 7 by two men who told him they were gay, they drove him to a remote area east of Laramie, tied him to a split-rail fence, tortured, beat and pistol-whipped him, as he plead for his life. Matthew was then left for dead in the cold Autumn darkness. A person riding by on a bicycle found him some 18 hours after being attacked, at first thought he was a scarecrow. Matthew was alive but unconscious while suffering from hypothermia. His face was covered with dried blood, except where tears had streamed down his cheeks. His injuries were so severe that Doctors could not operate on him and he never regained consciousness. Matthew died five days after the attack on Monday October 12, 1998.

            Gay bashing did not begin with Matthew and neither did it end with him. Charles Howard in 1984, Billy Jack Gaither, Laaron Morris and Kevin Tryals in 1999 to name a few. The list goes on and on, and then there are the other hate crimes perpetrated against people of other races and every other thing that can be discriminated against. The Black Holocaust here in America throughout the Twentieth Century still adversely affects African Americans. Our criminal justice system makes judgments every day based on the laws we have formed for everyone to live under equally. But often it is not so equal and our judgments seem less than honorable.

They knew what they were doing that night was evil
Perhaps with faith the shepherd may forgive them still
Only the sheep who follow will find their true worth
But not with hate filled hearts where gentle love is dearth

Your spirit is a life eternity can't kill
Before he died for you he left it in his will
When Jesus said the meek shall inherit the earth
And Gods eternal love will fill your soul with mirth

Created On: 01/27/2002

pg. 26

Created On: 10/26/2002

            The manager of a store I worked in as a sales person was a woman whose grandfather had been a Nazi during WWII. She was a deeply hateful person who only accepted me after learning I am part German. One thing she did that I found annoying was play old records of German music, which I not only couldn’t understand a word of, but didn’t like the music either. She even told me how she had her grandfather’s war uniforms and medals hanging on the walls of her home. She seemed to think that because I was part of the Arian Race, I would feel the same way she did and she could tell me all sorts of things about her grandfather’s war heroics and how much she hated Jews and blacks, using the “N” word. She told me in an accusatory tone of voice that she would never hire a “N’r” because they would rob the store blind.

            During the Christmas sales season, we needed another salesperson to help with the larger volume of customers. When the District Manager sent a black guy from one of the other stores to help us, she went in the back office and stayed there the entire time he was working with us. Not only was it an obvious show of disrespect, but it completely defeated the purpose of having another salesperson on duty. After the sales slowed down later in the week, he returned to his regular store and she came out of hiding, pretending as though nothing had happened. If not for her obvious lingering anger over the situation, you would have thought she had just taken a vacation for a week.

            Knowing how much she loved money and selling things to people that they didn’t really need, it must have been an excruciatingly painful time for her. Missing out on so many sales must have put a major dent in her paycheck, which I found mildly satisfying. But having a guy she hated for the color of his skin, working in her store for an entire week, had to feel like being locked in a jail cell to her. That wasn’t enough for me though, I was moved to write the poem “Segregation” for her after witnessing the debacle.

Warning voiced in black and white

No question in his breath

Nowhere to run, but run the race

Gaining ground, look back, see Death

In the coming revolution

Let me be the first to die

For I will not pull your tooth

Nor will I pluck your eye

Let me offer both my cheeks

To your bloody fisted hand

Strike me twice but hate me once

Cold reparations flood the land

I believe the words I’ve heard

While most would rather listen to lies

So long as one distorts the truth

So long as three seeds grow, hatred never dies

Once the breeds you despise are dead

Who will you decide to hate?

And when there’s only one kind left

Will you decide your brother’s fate?

NYS OCFS Graduation Speech, Parker Training Academy, 12/10/99 (excerpt)

The Boyz At Tryon

pg. 36

Created On: 03/26/2001

click the cover banner above

to purchase from Amazon.com

Seeds & Weeds (main page): Seeds & Weeds index (click link)

__________________________________________________